The Meanest Mommy in the World

The Meanest Mommy in the World
By Auntie B 1/30/10

I have the meanest mommy
In the whole entire world
I’m sorry she’s my mommy
And that I’m her little girl

She makes me go to bed at night
When I’m not even tired
She’s just so very mean to me
I wish she could be fired

She makes me eat my real food
When I’d much rather have candy
And I have to do my homework
Even when my toys are handy

She makes me put my things away
And tidy up my room
I’m sure that you can see just why
My life is full of gloom

Sometimes she makes me take a bath
When I feel very clean
And when she makes me do my math
She’s only being mean

She takes away my privileges
If I lie or disrespect her
I really wish there were some way
That I could un-elect her

I know some people say
She does the things a mother should
But even if that’s true
It doesn’t make me feel too good

I know she often reads to me
And cuddles me at night
When it’s dark and I get scared
She lets me have some light

She does cook my favorite foods
She buys me special treats
When she takes me to the movies
She lets me choose the seats

I get to help her in the kitchen
When she decides to bake
And she cleans up without yelling
When a big old mess I make

She helps me with my homework
If I’m having too much trouble
And if I cry because I’m hurt
She’s right there on the double

She plays with me and laughs with me
We do have tons of fun
When I said, “The meanest mommy”. . .
I should have said the nicest one.